Last Minute Preparations

I know it’s been a long time since I’ve added an entry, but what do you expect? I’m pregnant and unreliable. Haha

I can nearly see the finish line from here. I only have about 7 days until my official due date, June 3rd. Everything has gone quite well thus far with no problems. This week he said I was about 75% effaced and about 2 cm dilated. I’m not getting my hopes up, but he seems to think I might deliver early. I certainly wouldn’t complain about that. Really it’s only recently I’ve been getting quite uncomfortable. Apart from being a bit tired, I usually feel quite well. And I’ve discovered that a short 30 minute to 1 hour nap goes a LONG way, so I’ve had the luxury of making that a priority most every day.

Although I normally feel quite well, the past couple days I’ve been suffering with some sort of head cold I think. As I write this it‘s 4am and I’m sitting up in bed trying to minimize the pain. Basically I’m dealing with sinus pressure and headache, drainage in the back of the throat that has given me the worse sore throat I’ve probably ever had. It’s really painful to swallow and I’ve lost my voice. I whisper some, but that’s still painful. The sinus pressure makes my teeth hurt like crazy, so I’m sure I look pretty silly at times when I’m pushing on my teeth with my fingers, trying to alleviate some pain. I got an antibiotic from my doctor, so hopefully that will clear everything up within a few days. I’m not worried because I’m trusting God that things will happen according to His perfect plan, but it’s hard not to be a little nervous at the possibility I might go into labor before I’ve recovered from whatever this sickness is. Loved ones, I ask that you please pray for this to pass quickly. I appreciate the support so much.

Mentally and emotionally things have been interesting lately. I really feel like God is preparing me. Recently my emotions and mind have felt quite relaxed, not anxious. I’ve felt pretty prepared and I’ve enjoyed more and more just being home. Although I’ve felt I’ve suffered with a bad case of pregnancy brain for many months now, I’ve actually felt a bit more clear headed in the past week or so. Has my pregnancy brain gotten so bad that I just don’t even see it anymore? Or have I actually had some of my brain come back? Haha. Who knows? Probably Michael could answer that.

Since I’ve been pregnant, sometimes I’ve been caught off guard as to how I instinctively react to different situations. This past Sunday was one of those “situations”. At church this week they recognized the high school seniors, as they will be graduating sometime in the next couple of weeks. As many churches and schools do, they showed a slide show of the students with pictures of them as a baby and then a recent picture. I’ve always thought these slide shows were kind of fun, but this time… I caught myself crying about the second picture in (and I’m not a crier). It took about 10 seconds for my brain to say “Oh my goodness, look at that baby picture….now she is a young adult ready to leave for college. That could be Caleb’s baby picture!” Caleb hasn’t even been born yet and his life flashed before my eyes! I kept thinking, “How could they do this to me? When will this slide show be over?? Can we talk about something else???” It was pretty ridiculous. Haha. I’m glad it’s over.

Michael and I took several “baby classes” over the past couple of months and enjoyed them very much. We took Prepared Childbirth, which is like Lamaze, which was 4 separate sessions of breathing exercises, physical exercises intended for use during pregnancy, practicing of techniques used to cope with pain during labor, and much more. I think the ladies particularly enjoy this class because much of it is your husband messaging you or caressing you while you are in various comfortable positions. Haha. We also took a class called “Caring for Mom / Caring for Baby” and a Breast Feeding Class. Those were both one session classes, and they also seemed to be helpful.

I’ve really really appreciated how attentive and involved Michael has been throughout this entire pregnancy and that certainly includes his willing participation in these classes. It’s comforting to me to know he’s there in body and mind as a part of this team. But I have to tell you this story of something that happened not too long ago that got my delicate pregnant mind temporarily freaked out. In our prepared childbirth class we learned that during pregnancy women often have bad leg cramps, usually in the middle of the night. So we were taught how to quickly get rid of these cramps. Coaches were instructed how to hold his wife’s leg and ankle, and how to stretch out the calf until the cramp went away. At the time of these instructions I had not yet experienced one of these infamous leg cramps and had counted that a blessing. Well, that changed. A few weeks after class I woke up in the middle of the night yelling from the pain of a leg cramp. Michael shot up out of bed like a rocket and was freaking out, yelling “What?! What’s going on?!” He probably thought I was in labor or had some medical emergency I suppose. I quickly told him “Leg cramp! Leg cramp!” He proceeded to “help” by attempting to use the technique we learned in class, except his own version of it. He was on the wrong side of me, he was holding my leg and ankle wrong, he went too fast which caused more pain. I can barely speak because of the pain, but I attempt to tell him he’s hurting me. He repositions himself, and then suddenly he lets go and says in a whiny voice “Ow my shoulder hurts and I’m nauseous” and immediately crawls back into bed and back to sleep in seconds. Although the cramp was mostly gone, I lay there still in some pain thinking “Oh my gosh. We can’t even handle a leg cramp, how will we ever handle labor!?” So I go back to sleep a bit stressed, and the next day I bring up the topic to Michael. He says something to the effect of “If you were having a leg cramp, why didn’t you ask for my help? You should ask me for help.” I was shocked. I said “What are you talking about?? I did ask you for help, and you even attempted to give me help. But about as soon as you started helping me you complained of shoulder pain and nausea and went straight back to sleep with me still in pain.” He seemed pretty surprised and then started laughing. He didn’t remember a thing about that. Apparently Michael was asleep during the fiasco, and the moral of the story is – whenever you wake up with a cramp or wake up in labor, make sure your husband is actually awake before he starts helping you. Despite this one silly situation I think Michael and I both feel pretty prepared for labor and delivery. I’m positive he will be an excellent coach. As long as we make sure he is awake!Haha

Sweet Dreams

Dreams seem to be a common topic with pregnant woman. I've often heard or read about how pregnant women often have very vivid and strange dreams. Some so vivid they have a hard time during the daytime overcoming the feelings evoked by those dreams, including undeserved anger towards someone who did them wrong within their dream.

At this point I don't think I can say I have had more vivid or more strange dreams than usual. I just think I normally have vivid and strange dreams. But occasionally I'm intrigued by a dream I have.

Not long ago I dreamt that I actually saw Caleb. Apparently it was within days of his birth, and I remember holding him in my arms in a semi-cradled position but held a little upright and out away from me so I could get a good look at him. Of course he was beautiful and oh so cute. But what was funny to me that really stood out was that he had strawberry blonde hair. Within this same dream I later took Caleb into a home store to shop. I was there with my mother, and after being there for only a few minutes a thought hit me. "What am I doing out here shopping with a baby who's only a day or two old?!" Haha. It's funny how no matter how strange a dream is (not that this one is particularly strange), you can have a moment of clarity and logic.

I got to thinking about dreams again lately because in the past couple of weeks I've had several dreams about drowning. I don't think I've ever dreamt about drowning before, and yet I've had several lately. So I decided, out of curiosity, to see what some "dream dictionaries" say about the meaning of drowning. I don't put much weight in dream dictionaries, but I was just curious to see what they said. The common thread I found in the different definitions I read was a feeling of being overwhelmed with emotion. I would have to say that accurately defines me lately. haha. Some have even heard me mention that one of the more annoying symptoms of pregnancy, in my opinion, is being so emotional. Plus, I think when you're pregnant for the first time, you have SO many more reasons than usual to be emotional. So it's a double whammy. At least most of the emotions are good and happy ones. And the ones I wouldn't consider "happy emotions" aren't so bad. They're things like nervousness, a little fear or a little anxiousness regarding the big change and commitment and responsibility of being a parent. But the fear and anxiousness is rare, so don't worry. It's mostly just nervousness.

Baby Gear Galore

Wednesday Michael and I spent ALL day registering for all the baby gear. I’m amazed sometimes at how Michael can survive shopping longer than I can. I’m really glad though, because while I was trying to make the “right” decision, he was totally there with me, in mind and body, and not trying to rush me through and onto something else. I had fun, and I think Michael did as well.

It's so funny to me sometimes to see what husbands all of a sudden get opinionated on. (Like when you decide to redecorate the guest room and throughout the process they couldn't care less about the choices you make because they just want you happy. But all of a sudden they are very opinionated on the choice for curtains. Seems so random.) Michael had a special fascination with pacifiers, so if you notice we have registered for a lot of pacifiers you now know why. haha. Michael likes them. I'm just glad he was interested in the process.

I think it helped that I prepared quite a bit before I went in. I went one day with Carolyn when she was registering for Lilly and I was TOTALLY overwhelmed with all the STUFF. They have a product for EVERYTHING. It’s crazy. I was thinking “Surely one does not need all this junk. But what of it do you really need??” That feeling really stuck with me. So when we found out we were pregnant, I decided I would go in armed and ready, knowing what kind of items I actually needed, and what items I could skip over. I read a book on baby gear and talked to a few people, and then made myself a shopping list. I reviewed specific products online for a couple days, and then we went in Wednesday for the final “kill”. I didn’t feel overwhelmed. I felt like I knew exactly what I was looking for and didn’t waste time contemplating items I had already determined were unnecessary. Though I don’t expect to know every single item I need ahead of time. I may find something particularly helpful once Caleb arrives and I learn what kind of temperament he has and what he likes, but I just don’t want to waste any money on a bunch of stuff I don’t really need and that just takes up more room than it’s worth.

I’m glad to get that task checked off my list. One reason I wanted to get it done right away was to get a better idea of how much money we need in preparation for Caleb’s arrival. I was able to tally up the total of all my registries and determine how much it would cost us to totally outfit the baby ourselves. So although I’m sure I’ll receive some gifts at my shower from my registries, I now have a “worst case scenario” to plan for. Makes me feel a lot more at ease to be as prepared as possible.

The places I registered are:
Babies R’ Us
Target
www.nurturedfamily.com
www.diaperbagboutique.com

Let me explain a little something about the two web stores. I registered at Nurtured Family, because I plan on doing clothe diapers. Instead of registering at a specific diaper brand web page like fuzzy bunz or bum genius, I was able to register here for several different brands. I’ve heard good things about different brands, and some things I’ve heard and read have said to try a couple different brands to determine which ones you and your baby like best. This just seemed like an easy solution. This store also carries a variety of other baby products, but mostly what I needed was diapers. Then Diaper Bag Boutique is just one “fun item” for me. Haha. So I know you don’t need any sort of fancy or expensive diaper bag, but I was really trying my best to just be practical on other items but I was hoping for a fun diaper bag that doesn’t look juvenile. I am the one carrying the diaper bag, not my baby. Haha. Since I’ve been pregnant I’ve been browsing diaper bags at various stores and online and haven’t liked a single one, until this one. I LOVE it. Look at it and tell me it isn’t totally cute, even if it’s not your personal style. It’s super cute. Haha. Likely Michael and I will simply buy it ourselves, but I just wanted to show the ladies how cute it is. Haha. I’ll probably wait until the last minute to buy it though, just in case we don’t have the money for it. Which, in that case, I’ll THEN go buy the super inexpensive no thrills or frills bag.

Well we’re getting more and more excited about Caleb’s arrival. I think Daphne is particularly anxious. I keep finding her lying in the nursery “waiting”. That’s quite unusual for her. She never used to go in that room, and usually she either lies on the floor in the room we’re in, or in her bed. I’m curious to see how she will be with a baby around. I know she’s great with kids, but I wonder what kind of adjustment this will be for her as well. Maybe she’s in the nursery practicing her guarding skills? Although if that’s the case, someone should tell her that I’m keeping the baby with me at all times for now, until June that is. If she wants to guard him, she should stick with me.

What's In a Name

I think there is a lot in a name. My mom has often said that people live up to the names given to them. Whether the "name" be "stupid", "smart", "funny", "mean", or literally there name, be it Timothy, Sarah, Robert or Tera. She warned me to be careful what I called people, good or bad, because whether they are truly that name or not, they will begin to live up to it.

I've kept that in mind, and so far it seems true, at least most of the time. For this reason and others I knew I wanted to pick great names for my future children, names they would strive to live up.

Michael and I recently decided on the name "Caleb Andrew" for our baby. We both liked the sound of the names, their meanings, and we liked the Caleb and Andrew in the Bible. Caleb means “faith, devotion, and whole hearted.” Andrew means “warrior” or “courageous”.

The Caleb in the Old Testament wandered in the desert with Moses and the Israelites. When they arrived at Canaan, Caleb was one of the twelve spies (one from each tribe) that went into Canaan to check it out and report back to the rest of the people. Upon the spies return they reported great things about the land of Canaan, and that it was indeed flowing with milk and honey. Caleb and another spy, Joshua, insisted they defeat the people and take over Canaan, while the other ten spies convinced the people that this was impossible. The people were huge and the city was fortified, they did not believe they could defeat them. Despite Caleb and Joshua’s efforts, the people believed the other ten spies and had lost their faith and questioned why God even brought them to this place. They were so faithless that many wanted to return to captivity in Egypt where they could die. As you know God punished them by making them wander in the dessert until everyone over 20 had died, because they would not be allowed into Canaan. BUT because Caleb and Joshua were faithful and believed God, they would be allowed to enter Canaan when it came time. Because of this, Caleb is known for his faith, devotion and whole heartedness.

Andrew of course was a disciple. He was a fisherman (which Michael thinks is really cool) and brought many people to the Lord, including his own brother Peter. Jesus instructed Andrew (and the other fisherman he was with) to be fishers of men. And he was. Andrew is the disciple that brought the boy with the 5 loaves and two fish to the hillside where Jesus miraculously fed thousands of people. He was also present at many other “major” events in the Bible. Andrew is also the name of Michael’s best friend. Andrew is a great Christian man, a true friend and great influence and encouragement to Michael. We really appreciate him and are honored that he is willing to share his name with our little boy.

It's a Boy!!!

My crazy dream and most everyone's predictions were correct. It's a boy! We had our 19 week appointment this week and found out the news. We are SUPER excited.

Since we found out, things have felt surprisingly different for me. I don't mean physically, but mentally and emotionally. It feels way more real now. This is the most excited I've been through this journey thus far, but it's also the most nervous/scared I've been. Yesterday I felt quite overwhelmed with a mixture of emotions. My mind was so busy yesterday I had to just sit in the nursery and do nothing for about an hour. I literally mean nothing. Kids would call it "time out". haha. I keep thinking "In only a few months I'm going to be responsible for a human being and all of their needs." That thought is quite over whelming to me. Michael and I have waited this long for two main reasons. 1. We wanted to be done with school first because we knew raising a baby and going to school would be exponentially harder than doing them one at a time. 2. We knew that taking care of a baby was a huge responsibility, and that teaching and raising up a child was a big important job. We didn't take the decision lightly.

Even though since I was a little girl I dreamed of being a mom, now that it's here IT'S SCARY. haha. It's not that I'm scared of being a bad mom. I think I'm just scared of the responsibility of the raising up and teaching of the child, and the emotions involved in having your own child that you love and care that much about. Even before this baby is born, my heart aches that he will have the best things in life, will do great things, and be extremely successful and love the Lord with all of his heart. How much stronger will these feelings get once he's arrived? I'm sure much more.

So while those thoughts rush through my mind I also am so excited and happy at the thought of having someone who is literally a part of me. Another person to add to the family to love. Someone I'll get to watch and play with and build lots of fun memories with. Goodness - how much will Michael and I learn on this journey?? That's crazy to think about, because I know it's a lot! haha. And I'm certain that parenthood will be something that draws us closer to God and teaches us more about Him. We have a lot to look forward to.

Just yesterday Michael said "I can't wait until our baby boy is here." I'm definitely happy and excited about our baby's arrival, but I was thinking "I can wait!"

Here are the results from our "baby photo shoot".









My favorite one is that last one. I can't believe how big his foot looks. He must have Michael's feet. Oh boy, all the shoes we buy Michael...now we'll have another one who needs shoes every few months. haha

My sister in law, Joi, got Michael and me the sweetest gift the other day. It's a picture frame with a verse and a place to put a sonogram picture. The verse is one I've heard many many times before, but it takes on a whole new meaning for me now.

Psalm 139:13-16 (NLT)

"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous, and how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formeed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed."